Cape Cod Craigslist Ad Of The Day – Winter Hat Extortion

CL – found a winter hat (orleans,ma)

i found a red winter hat with yellow flowers on it
in the parking lot of hot chocolate sparrow and cvs
on february 15ththere is a $50 finders fee
let me know if you are missing it

What a nice gesture! There are so many stories of crime on Cape Cod lately it’s nice to see someone doing a good deed. Just when you start to think The Cape is full of addicts and thieves this ad comes along and restores faith in huma… wait, what’s that about a finders fee?

A $50 finders fee for a winter hat? Seems legit. How spun must your mind be to post this ad? How decayed is your sense of value when you genuinely think that someone will give you $50 for a winter hat that you don’t even own? This person suffers from absolute and total detachment from reality. This is so bananas that it could be the new anti-drug slogan:

“Don’t ever do drugs kids, or you will end up thinking it’s perfectly normal to ask for a $50 finders fee on Craigslist for a winter hat you found in the CVS parking lot.”

If that possibility doesn’t scare people straight then I don’t know what will. It scared the shit out of me just writing it.