Breaking News! We Have Solved The Mystery Of The Beast Of Truro

midget beast of truro



Since the dawn of man there have been mystery creatures that man has been unable to catch on film or prove their existence in anyway. There is Bigfoot, The Loch Ness Monster, La Chupacabra and of course the infamous Beast Of Truro. In case you don’t know the back story of the Beast here is a little history.

One of the most famous mystery cats in modern Massachusetts history is the “Beast of Truro.” In September 1981, an unidentified predator began killing pets and livestock. First domestic cats were attacked, killed, and mutilated. One eyewitness later was quoted in The New York Times as saying that the killer had a long, ropelike, curved J-shaped tail, and weighed upward of 80 pounds with short ears. Others said the predator looked like a cougar.

A New Yorker visiting Truro in December 1981 reported to town officials that he’d seen a mountain lion. All are names for the same kind of animal, of course. But wildlife officials have said they believe mountain lions to be extinct in the East. In January 1982, a mystery predator, thought to possibly be the Beast of Truro, mauled penned pigs in two incidents. And then the attacks stopped.

Our theory may sound a little far fetched to some, but bear with us as it will make perfect sense in the end. Let’s start of by listing what we know about the Beast:

1. The Beast is small in stature

3. The Beast weighs in at approximately 80 pounds.

2. The Beast is reported to have a long, ropelike, curved J-shaped tail.

4. The Beast has short ears.

5. The Beast feeds on domesticated cats

6. After mauling penned pigs in two separate incidents The Beast has not been heard from again.

Now this may be controversial, but we have a theory on the nature of this beast. Our story starts in a little town called Yarmouth off of Station Ave. Some of you may know of this place, but for those that don’t it is affectionately known as “Midgetville”.

This place is a closely guarded secret and it took painstaking research to uncover the inner workings of this secret society. (meaning a 3 minute Google search). All we could find on this compound was in pictures and we share them here now with you:

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It is our contention that the midgets of Yarmouth ARE The Beast Of Truro. It makes perfect sense, they wouldn’t hunt in their own neighborhood for fear of backlash and redemption. All the tell tales signs are there. Midgets weigh on average 80 pounds. Domesticated cats are a delicacy to the average little person, and they invariably have small ears.

What of the the long rope like tails? Well it is a little known fact that midgets commonly tie thick ropes to their wastes so the other members of their hunting packs can pull them to safety when they go head first into holes in the ground to forage for vermint and other small burrowing animals.

So why the sudden quiet after the multiple pig kills. That is easily explained. A few well fed pigs can feed a tribe of midgets for years due to their pea sized stomach cavities. My guess is that they are living like kings off pork chops and staying warm for the winter in the coats they made out of cat pelts. One cat can be made into a full length Diana Ross style fur coat when you are 3′ 7″ tall.

Mark my words, the pig and cat will run out and the “Truro Beast” will be back hunting come May 2014. Luckily they pose no danger to the general population as they have only been known to bite the ankles of humans before waddling into the wilderness never to be seen again.




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