Barnstable 8th Grade MCAS Math Scores Plummet – Batten Down The Hatches!


CCT – Barnstable eighth graders’ mathematics and science/tech engineering MCAS scores plummeted this year. Only 41% of the students scored advanced or proficient on the 2014 math test, down from 74% in 2013. 47% of eighth graders scored advanced/proficient on the science and tech engineering test, down from 77% last year.

This exact same thing happens somewhere every single year. Whenever and wherever it does the reaction is inevitably the same. The sky is falling! Fire the teachers! Change the test! What happens when they grow up and can’t calculate the tip at the 99? We’re ALL GONNNA DIE!!!

Everyone needs to just chill out. The schools are doing the same thing they did last year that worked just fine, there’s no need to freak out and change everything. There’s a simple explanation for this that nobody wants to talk about…

This year’s crop of 8th graders are dumber than last years.

It’s not the teachers fault, it’s not society’s fault, it’s the kids fault. Sorry, I know you don’t want to hear it, but it’s true.

It happens in every other facet of life and we don’t go into denial about it. This years football team isn’t as good as last years? No biggie, we just don’t have the athletes we had last year. This years chorus is a little off key? That’s fine, it’s just because we don’t have as many gifted singers as last year. This years MCAS scores are down? KILL THE ENTIRE SCHOOL STAFF, BURN THE BOOKS AND START OVER!

Nope, we just don’t have the brainpower we had last year. It’s not that big a deal, we need fry cooks at McDonald’s just as much as we need doctors. We need ditch diggers just as much as we need architects. We need internet bloggers just as much as we need real writers.

Listen parents, I know this can be a tough pill to swallow, but look at Forrest Gump’s mother. She knew her kid was a moron and she didn’t complain once. She took matters into her own hands and banged the principal. Forrest turned out to be a millionaire so don’t worry, there’s definitely hope for your kids too. Just don’t be stingy in the sack.

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