Jar Of Farts For Sale On Cape Cod Virtual Yard Sale

jar of farts

It’s long been known that many people use Cape Cod Virtual Yard Sale as a place to try to sell their useless crap to other people, so I guess it was just a matter of time until someone tried to sell their useless crap jarred up in the form of a gas to other people.

My big question is how can it be a jar of farts? Won’t the first fart escape when you take off the lid to add more farts? Isn’t it most likely a jar of fart? Seems like it might be false advertising to me. At least the price was reasonable I guess?

P.S. Maybe that next person will let Kim sell her jar of farts at their gigantic 2-day indoor yard sale?

thanks to Sarah for the tip

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Twitter: Hippie - Insane Tony

4 Year Old Cape Cod Kid Saves His Mother’s Life Like A Boss

matthew fontaine

FOX – A 4-year-old Massachusetts boy is being hailed as a hero after saving his mother’s life when she suffered a massive seizure.

When Matthew Fontaine’s mother, Ashley, who suffers from regular seizures, had a seizure so bad she fell and hit her head, the boy sprung into action, using his mom’s cellphone to call 911 and waiting on the line until help arrived, Fox25 reported.

“I remember thinking to myself, oh my God, this is it, this is the seizure that’s going to kill me,” Ashley, of Harwich, Massachusetts, told Fox25.

Matthew had been taught how to help if he was alone and his mother, Ashley, suffered a seizure. Now, he wants to be a rescue worker when he grows up.

“They said I’m a hero,” Matthew told FOX25.

No biggie, just a regular Cape Cod 4 year old running around saving lives. That’s how we raise ’em around here. Just another Wednesday on the peninsula.

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Eighth Grader In Texas Nearly Arrested For Using A $2 Bill For Lunch

zachary's 2

HOUSTON, TX — There are some people who’ve never seen a $2 bill, including, it would seem police, school officials and cafeteria workers in Houston who were convinced an eighth-grader was using counterfeit money to buy chicken nuggets during lunch.

But the $2 bill is a real thing — a legal denomination of U.S. currency first issued in the early part of the 20th century, produced until 1966 and then reissued ten years later. It’s got a picture of Thomas Jefferson on the front and a reproduction of The Declaration of Independence by John Trumbull on the reverse side.

Yet when student Danesiah Neal tried to pay for her chicken nuggets with such a bill, the purchase was flagged. Police were called.

According to media reports, the scene of the “crime” was Fort Bend Independent School District’s Christa McAuliffe Middle School, just outside Houston proper.

“I went to the lunch line, and they said my $2 bill was fake,” the eighth-grader told KTRK-TV. “They gave it to the police. Then they sent me to the police office. A police officer said I could be in big trouble.”

Well I guess there’s another reason why it pays to grow up on Cape Cod. We all know the $2 bill is real and we know it well. How many poor Dunkin’ Donuts girls have been handed a $2 bill still stinking of stripper sweat as a tip for a medium regular from a plumber with bloodshot eyes?

How many wives have quickly asked their husbands for a couple bucks in line at the store only to be handed the surest sign of a recent visit to Zachary’s. And how many men have slept on the couch that night because of it.

Here on Cape Cod we learn to respect the $2 bill. Whenever a $2 bill changes hands on Cape Cod, looks of guilt, silent camaraderie, shame and sometimes laughter come with it. In Houston the police are called if someone tries to use a $2 bill. On Cape Cod each policeman has at least 3 of them in their wallet right now.

The $2 bill on Cape Cod is the great equalizer, one man could be down on his luck wearing rags, while a man with a $5,000 suit sits next to him, but that $2 bill, at that moment in time, while Whitesnake plays over the loudspeakers? That $2 bill makes them equals in the eyes of Roxxxy, and just for a moment, for that one sliver of time, we are all equal men… men who like boobies.

thanks MattyB

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Caitlyn Jenner Is Coming To Cape Cod In June – Which Leads To A Serious Question

caitlin decathlon

CCT – Caitlyn Jenner, the transgender woman who, as Bruce Jenner, was an Olympic athlete and reality-TV star, will appear June 30 in Provincetown as special guest speaker for “A Benefit for Camp Lightbulb.”

Jenner, who brought world attention to transgender issues a year ago when she revealed she is a transgender woman, will join host singer/songwriter Zoe Lewis and performers Well-Strung and Varla Jean Merman at the Provincetown Town Hall event.

In 1976, Jenner broke the world record in the decathlon at the Olympic Games in Montreal, earning the title of “World’s Greatest Athlete.” Her reality-TV shows have included “Keeping Up With the Kardashians,” as Bruce, and “I Am Cait.”

OK I’ve got a serious question for the guys out there. Say you were a decent high school athlete, could you beat Caitlyn Jenner in the decathlon today, like right now. Don’t forget that she was once the single greatest male athlete in the world, gold medals everywhere, the whole nine yards.

On the other hand she’s pumped full of estrogen and 66 years old. I think I’m pretty sure I could beat her, the boobies must get in the way of the shot put, although the high heels would help in the pole vault. Na, I still think I can beat her.

Now if she was still Bruce? He kicks my ass all over the field, 66 or not.

P.S. What a great idea for a reality show, have average Joe’s compete with Cait in the decathlon. Talk about ratings, you’d have every demographic covered, men, women, women who used to be men, the Kardashian crowd, athletes, athletes who are secretly attracted to women who used to be men… the list goes on forever. You’re welcome to whichever network reads this and puts that show on the air. Pure gold.

P.P.S. Big advantage in the no ballsack department for Cait on the 110 meter hurtles.

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This is The Key Note Speaker on Legalizing Marijuana On Cape Cod?


CapeCod.com The League of Women Voters held a forum over the weekend addressing the potential legalization of marijuana in Massachusetts and the current policy surrounding medical marijuana, drawing disagreements from some of the speakers over the best policies for Massachusetts.

About 60 people came out to the event at the Cape Cod Community Media Center, titled, “Marijuana: Truths and Fictions.”

The event’s keynote speaker, Dr. Kevin Hill, gave an hour-long presentation on the matter, and said it was crucial for lawmakers to get appropriate policies in place when it comes to marijuana.

Hill called for additional regulations on medical marijuana in Massachusetts, saying some are abusing the system and accessing medical approval for the drug when they should not be.

I am sure there were tons of disagreements from some of the speakers over the best marijuana policies in Massachusetts. It is a very contentious subject that can draw the ire of many.

There were however, zero disagreements over the fact that this Dr. Kevin Hill guy…

kevin hill

…has absolutely no business being the keynote speaker at a forum addressing the potential legalization of marijuana on MARS let alone in Massachusetts. The closest that cracker has ever come to a joint is when he nearly broke his mother’s back walking home from elementary school.

Not to mention someone slapped the poor bastard on the back right when he was making that ridiculous face. He’s probably just waiting around for his community theater to put on Batman so he gets his 15 minutes of fame. Dude is an absolute shoo-in for the part of the Joker.

You want someone to tell you “the truth” about marijuana? It’s easy, just hire this guy…

chong smoke

He’ll tell you all you need to know.

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