I woke up this morning hungover, started looking at Facebook on my phone, and was getting pelted with stupid lists about why I am this way, how I know I grew up in the ’90’s, or how to tell I have the absolute bestest BFF in the entire world.
I was just about to puke when I realized these lists were actually making me physically ill, so I came up with my own list, to make you physically ill, to make myself feel better. The list of ways to know when you’ve completely OD’d on random internet lists. Why 11? Because it’s more than ten, duh.
11. You really think that you’re “spontaneous yet organized and stubborn but fair” just because your parents named you Tiffany.
10. You think that Zach from Saved By The Bell was the voice of a generation.
9. You keep telling everyone that if you were an animal you’d be a polar bear because you’re “cute and welcoming on the outside, but don’t take any crap from anyone either“.
8. You are actually thinking about moving to San Francisco because you have 13 out the 14 traits on ViralNova’s list of reasons to move there. (Cut it out, you aren’t actually a hippie, you just like comfortable clothes and organic salads)
7. You think that because you recognize a photo of the Bourne Bridge, you’re an expert on Cape Cod.
6. This sentence has come out of your mouth- “OMG number 3 on this random list I found on Facebook is totally the reason we are BFF’s.”
5. You’re convinced that you and a redwood tree actually share a lot of the same traits.
4. You think that Matt Dillon is your soul mate just because Singles is you’re favorite movie from the 90’s. (It’s EVERYONE’S favorite movie from the 90’s, dumb ass)
3. You needed a Buzzfeed post to realize that Nickelback sucks.
2. You think the Olsen Twins being growing up is a sure sign that you’re getting old. Well no shit Sherlock, they are human and they age at the same speed as you.
1. You are truly convinced that you NEED to try the Nutella donut at The Kangaroo Cafe in Roanoke, Virginia before you die. (You don’t)Facebook: The Real Cape
Twitter: Hippie - Insane Tony
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